The birth of Jax

On the 3rd of April at 1202 am 2019 we welcomed into the world our second baby boy Jax, born in water and in the comfort of our home. 

At 42+2 weeks you were in no rush and neither were we- I absolutely love love being pregnant and miss it greatly. I love the whole journey of it- especially the movements and kicks! The nesting, the preparations, the talking to you, the wondering who you are- it’s just so magical. The most beautiful I’ve ever felt is during pregnancy- I can’t really articulate it well- there is just something incredibly powerful about knowing you have created life and are growing a baby within you. It’s the most connected I’ve ever been with my body. I’m so grateful for this experience. 

Like his brother Tallow, Jax  was born in water but unlike Tallows birth, Jax’s birth was a planned homebirth- a decision I am immesnely grateful  I made. For me there is no place more comfortable than being in my own home for labour and birth. I say “for me”, as birth is an individual experience, some people would feel more comfortable being in a hospital and if that is the case then that’s where they should be- because feeling safe and comfortable is so essential for birth.

For me this was our home. 

We had our dream team again, choosing private midwifery care with Maria from My Own Midwives. We also had Hayely from Lana bell photography- who captured memories I will always truly treasure. Having a photographer at our birth was something I wanted for both our births- not to share – but for us to always remember this truly incredible time. But I was also hesitant- I wanted minimum people at my birth, low lights and no talking. This was really important to me- I basically just wanted it to be me and Nelson- like our first birth, Nelson was my rock and to me both our births were the most uniting experience I have ever had with him. Both births I fell more in love with him from the depth of care and love he showed me and how he supported me. So I made this desire really clear with my midwife and photographer. I feel it’s so important to inform your birth team of what you want for your birth- visualise it and tell them your deepest wishes so that they can do their best to help you achieve it. We met regularly with our midwife and twice with our photographer so that I felt completely comfortable and knew they knew exactly what I wanted- which was basically to just leave me and Nelson to do our thing.

But I digress- my labour was fast, aprox 6 hrs from start to finish. We had decided that Tallow would stay at his grandparents that night (his first and to this day, only night away from us) as I now reflect perhaps if I had my time over I would have kept him at home- I wonder of how this might have been for Tallow and I feel it would have helped form an incredible bond- but that’s the reflection of a Mother now having journeyed more deeply into connection and of a Mother that feels more relaxed and comfortable with Mothering from experience. But at the time I just felt I needed to know I could completely focus on our birth and have Nelson with me. 

So we dropped Tallow off and immediately my body had its first surge which was strong. We then traveled home (45 min) and by the time we got home 3pm my surges had become regular.  Nelson was busy setting up the birth pool while I set up candles, aromatherapy and music. By about 4 pm they were 1-2 minutes apart and by 5 we decided to call in our team. By the time they arrived I was deep into labour- Nelson was at my side for every single surge. It was very different from Tallows birth- it felt different- Tallows I only felt in my back. Jax was frontal. With Tallow I had to move my feet, with Jax I had this primal need to crawl during surges- at least in the beginning. After our birth Maria said she suspected, just from observing my movements, that he was  Asynclitic and she could see by my movements the moment he came into alignment. I’m still so truly in awe of this process- how a woman left to instinctly  birth and follow her bodies cues, naturally adopts positions to assist the babies optimal position. It’s such a beautiful dance between mother and baby- working together to meet each other. Beautiful.

When the time came Jax was only a few breathes and he was born- almost en caul- he was completely in the sac until his feet emerged and it broke. He was very calm, he just looked at me and I looked at him. There just isn’t words for this moment. That moment of birth, is the most incredible experience I have ever been through and I’m so grateful to have done it twice. It’s just a moment of pure love, of intense feelings, of overwhelm and relief. Again it’s something no words can articulate … it’s something that is just felt.

That first moment, those first few hrs, days and weeks when your just in awe of your body and your baby- when each noise they make is new and you can finally see them on the outside is just so special. I wish I could pause time and drag those initial weeks out but time flys and is a blur. So from a mother to another, my words of wisdom here are to savour that time. Bond, connect, hold your baby as much as you can, rest, restore and nothing else. 

Thankyou to Jax for choosing us as your parents- we love you with our whole hearts and welcome you to our family. To Nelson- for again being my rock- for the love you gave me- I love you. For my birth team- Thankyou- it truly is such an incredible job and I am so grateful to you and this also includes Tabitha from Studio Qi- for her beautiful acupuncture she gave me in both my pregnancies- right up to the day before birth and to Doreena at Peace yoga for the relaxing and grouping pregnancy yoga! All of you helped to create a memory I will forever cherish in my heart. Thankyou