Our Birth Story

Hi my name is Kate and I am Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse and HypnoBirthing practitioner, but most importantly a Mother to a beautiful awesome boy (inside and out) named Tallow and a Partner to an incredible man Nelson. I absolutely love being a mother and partner to these amazing guys.
Its hard to find the words to fully describe my birth, because how do you find words to describe a life changing event? I will do my best.
My labour was long, from start to finish about 34 hrs, 26 of which were in established labour. Some people hear that and initially are shocked and perhaps scared of their own birth, my answer is always the same. To me it was NOT 34 hours of labour like you may see on tv or perhaps what friends have shared with you. It WAS 34 hrs of Nelson and I working together in the most uniting way to bring our baby into this world. It was 34 hrs where I fell so much more in love with Nelson. It was 34 hrs of us connecting in a way that we never had before and 34 hrs of preparing us to be parents together. It was 34 hrs with Nelson kissing, hugging and massaging me, telling me he loves me, telling me how proud he was of me, how excited he was to meet our baby. It was our last period of time of just the two of us and working towards finally meeting our baby. So to me I just cant describe this as anything short of amazing, life changing, romantic and perfect.

Our day commenced at 2 am with me watching a Hypnobirthing film that had really resonated with me and listening to relaxation while allowing Nelson to get some rest. At 5 am I woke him and said “today we are going to have a baby” (it turned out to be the next day but hey I was pretty close). We went for a beautiful walk along the beach watching sunrise while I had surges every 10 minutes. After that it was home and using relaxation, aromatherapy and massage and as it progressed movement, counting and using my voice were utilised and so effective. I felt totally in control and Nelson helped me through it all. We spent a lot of time in the bath and shower (actually running out of hot water at some stage where Nelson and Steph (our beautiful Midwife) manually filled it with a kettle). By 2 am the following day we all felt that I was close so we headed into the Birth centre, but our boy was just tricking us and decided he wasn’t ready just yet (think I had created a pretty nice home for him inside). We spent the next 12 hrs with Nelson and Steph using massage, mobilisation, water and sound and Nelson was able to lead me into relaxation between surges so I could rest which was a pretty incredible experience (I was super proud of him and myself for this). At 1338 little Tallow decided to join us on the outside. He was born in water exactly as I wanted.

Was it challenging and exhausting? Yes it was but there wasn’t a single moment where I even thought about drugs or about changing what we were doing. I guess to me I describe it like doing a marathon (which I have so its a good analogy for me). There is a shit load of physical and mental preparation, will power and work to get to the actual race day of a marathon. Its the culmination of all this work, of all the mental preparation, of pushing your body to its limits and it being hard that (for me personally anyway) ultimately makes it incredibly rewarding and empowering. Its hard to describe but when Tallow was born I felt like there was this “aha” moment where I joined the “club” of a billion other women that had experienced becoming a mother- it was an incredible feeling. It was perhaps like the feeling of completing the marathon times a hundred!!!! That final culminating moment when we achieved everything we had worked together and we birthed our baby and held him for the first time and looked down on him with us both crying and Nelson behind me hugging me was the most incredible thing I have ever done! I know it sounds like a cliche but it truly is indescribable and all consuming! I would do it all over again in a heart beat!!

This was the birth I wanted. I didn’t want a quick birth and I didn’t want a “pain free” birth. Now some people may think this sounds weird (especially coming from a HypnoBirthing practitioner) but I guess this may have something to do with me being midwife and watching couples for years “working” together for their birth. I always felt it was so touching, humbling and beautiful to see a couple go through labour together, for the partner to be a integral part of the process and to work together.. I wanted everything that I described above and I guess I approached my birth with this attitude which, given the law of harmonious attraction it seems I got exactly what I was manifesting. Other women that I have worked with have worked toward having that “pain free” quick labour and birth and they have achieved exactly that. The ability of the mind to manifest what you create should not be underestimate ESPECIALLY for labour and birth. Labour like a marathon is predominantly mental. Ask any athlete how they do what they do and they will say its almost entirely the mental preparation they do. Its the repeated visualisation of them achieving their end goal, continual affirmations that empower them and make there beliefs manifest into reality. Its constant training of the “internal dialogue” in our brain to change it from negative thoughts such as “I cant finish a marathon or what if” to “I will finish the marathon and I will do my best”. These same skills can and should be applied to labour and birthing and that is what HypnoBirthing is all about. Its about eradicating all fear and any negative preconceived fears you may have surrounding birth and replacing them with positive ones. Its about approaching your birth feeling confident and excited and well informed to make decisions and its about the birth partner being a integral part of the experience not a onlooker. To often being a midwife I see partners that have not had any education or preparation for labour and they spend the labour feeling anxious, helpless and unaware of the process and what is expected. This serves no-one, these feelings that they are expressing rub off onto the labouring mother and only serve to cause hesitation, doubt and fear. But it does NOT need to be this way. Nelson was very prepared for labour. Even though I was a Midwife and HypnoBirthing Practitioner we enrolled in Hypnobirthing classes with a dear friend Amanda Bude, a 5 week program all about preparing both of us for labour. We invested in a private midwife from My Own Midwife and he attended every antenatal appointment with me (which usually went for a hr, unlike many others I see in the hospital that last 5-15minutes). These appointments always left us feeling prepared and excited about our birth, we were both allowed time to ask questions and talk about our birth wishes and Steph always made us feel safe, secure and fostered our belief that we would achieve what we wanted. Nelson went into our birth fully prepared for anything and everything. He was aware he may hear noises he never has heard before, he was totally aware of the birthing process so he could ask educated questions and be my “voice” if needed, he had a abundance of tools up his sleeve to work with me and he was confident and relaxed!

This is why its so important to recognise how important the birth partners are. They are often the most trusted and loved person in the room for the birthing mother so their role and influence has a profound affect on the birthing mother. In standard birthing classes they don’t work with the couples to prepare them for birth. HypnoBirthing prepares both of you and gives your partner tools to work with you on one of the most amazing days of your life and I cannot recommend it enough! I strongly belief through the right antenatal preparation, such as HypnoBirthing, we have the ability to allow labour and birthing to be an experience of love, joy, empowerment and satisfaction- NOT fear and disappointment. What a tremendous impact that could have on our world!

So my birth story wouldn’t be complete with out saying a special thank you to Nelson for helping me to achieve the most amazing beautiful labour and birth I could have ever asked for. Also our Midwife Steph from My Own Midwives, worth her weight in gold!! The antenatal care, labour, birth and postnatal care we received was priceless. To our HypnoBirthing Practitioner Amanda Bude for your love, education and guidance. Practicing all our relaxations and light touch massage during our pregnancy was amazing and such a beautiful and treasured time together. To my dear friend Anthea Thomas who is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and HypnoBirthing practitioner who did some incredible “letting go” hypnosis session with me (I loved being pregnant so much I really needed help by 41+2 weeks gestation to let go of it haha). To our beautiful photographer Rana Ratkin who captured memories to last a lifetime. To the beautiful Megan Amor for your lovely antenatal massages. To Jana at Hands on Health Chiro for your gentle alignments. To Brad and Tabitha at Studo Qi and Paige Waters at The Point of Wellbeing for your gentle and beautiful acupuncture and last but definitely not least to Doreena at Peace Yoga and Glenda at Time for Yoga for your constant peace your beautiful classes brought.
I love you all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me have the most beautiful pregnancy and birth I could have ever asked for.